INSIDE OUTSIDE

Hey Hon, remember when we had NO kids?...

2009-01-16T12:01:00.000-08:00

Parenting is no easy thing. How is it that we can be judgmental of everyone else's kids, but can see no wrong in our own? Or is it the other way around?

I think I've probably learned more about myself through being a parent than in any other pursuit. It's changed me for the good. It's helped me see understand God so much better. My appreciation for Diane has quadrupled from the high place it was at the get-go.

One thing that I can say for sure, is that after 15+ years of being a dad, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. More like I wouldn't trade Jessica & Taylor.

Is it OK to say that I think they are amazing? (Is it OK to admit that I feel short and non-musical next to Taylor and I feel like a lousy actor and non-creative next to Jessica?)

And to think that I once had a life that didn't have them in it.

God, you are so cool. You give good gifts!

The Four Hour Wrestling Match

2007-12-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

My kids are at a fun age. Jessica is 14, and Taylor is 12, but at 6'1" the guy is all teenager. Something we have in common is that we all love the right kind of rock and roll. (Think about it: rock and roll has been around since the 1950's in various ever-changing sub-styles--and anyone who loved it as a kid as I did probably still loves versions of it, at least at heart. I'll be a rockin' grampa someday.)

So I tell J and T that the next time their favorite band Switchfoot comes to town, I'll buy the three of us tickets. (Mom loves to rock, but isn't a Switchfoot fan. She's still cool, don't worry.)

So I see Switchfoot is coming in October, and grab the tickets. And it's not just Switchfoot--Relient K is opening--oh, and a band named Ruth too. I've not heard of Ruth. I found myself wondering if my next door neighbor, Ruth B., our Harley-ridin' friend had decided to start a band.

Anyhow, everyone's excited. And Dad is cool. For the moment.

Dad didn't realize that somewhere along the road into forties-hood, he should have started to pay attention to where a concert is being held. Does the venue have actual seats or no? This is important. Dad was about to learn what no seats ("general admission") meant.

Mind you, I am quite familiar with things like "mosh pits" and stage diving and the like. Nothing new to me. But I was not prepared to spend four hours in a sea of constantly moving, swirling, jostling, WRESTLING humanity. On the positive side, that night the most popular workout dvd had nothing up on me.

All the while I kept my hands on my kids--because the swirling sea of humanity kept trying to drive us apart at every moment. At one point, I looked at my right hand and discovered that it was not resting around Jessica's shoulder, but on some other girl's shoulder. Much to my surprise, I think I had a date with someone who was not Diane and didn't know it. I hope no one publishes that in a blog.

Don't get me wrong. I very much enjoyed myself at this concert, despite the constant physical exertion! J & T and I spent the concert quite close to the stage, experienced our favorite bands up close and personal, got some great photos--and totally enjoyed hearing live some of our favorite songs. It's a very fun and fulfilling thing for a dad to be able to sing the lyrics to a (morally upright) rock song right along with his kids. And, to tell you the truth, as I think back, I can't imagine my dad being at my rock concert, singing along with me. I have to think that part of that would have been cool.

Do you ever think you're cool and then find out you're not? Relient K introduced a song called "The 80's Song." Everyone screamed. J & T screamed. Jessica yelled to me and T "I LOVE THIS SONG!" T was pumped. I was pretty pumped too, because I grew up in the 80's. I am the 80's man. I went to both high school and college in the 80's. I AM the 80's. I knew that this was my song, even though I had not heard it yet.

and i'm only gonna pierce my left ear

and i've been working on this mustache all summer long

and my favorite band will always be tears for fears

and i'm gonna wear a pink tux to the prom (a pink tux to the prom)

doo doo, a doo doo doo, pink tux to the prom

i am gonna wear a pink tux to prom

live without a care... what could possibly be better?

I was suddenly not cool. Dude. I wore pink once in the 80's. And what my wife calls "toilet paper pants." (Don't ask.) And skinny ties. But I am vindicated, because they are back in and my kids think skinny ties are cool.

Then relient k did a song called Sadie Hawkins Dance. My kids asked if I knew Sadie Hawkins. I said "no" but that I had tried to dance with her once. In a pink tux.

The Sadie Hawkins Dance, in my khaki pants

There's nothing better oh oh oh

The girls ask the guys, it's always a surprise

There's nothing better--baby do you like my sweater?

It was a riot--a great laugh. How fun was that. It made me want to go home and put on my khaki pants.

But for four hours I had to literally expend my energy in this pushing, non-chaired, sea of teenage humanity in order to stay linked with my kids. Big time pushing, shoving, surging--literally like an ocean. It was a was body-to-body, pressed-up-against-the-guy-who-doesn't-think-deoderant-is-relevant kind of four hour experience. We left the venue with our clothes wringing wet from sweat--it looked like we had been caught in a rainstorm.

The night was both tons of fun and very frustrating. Tons of fun with the bands and the best two kids in the world. Frustrating to be in that world and have to fight to stay on your feet and stay in a place where you could see, fight to stay together.

I think that's why it lives in my memory. It's a living metaphor for me. I feel like I'm fighting in this world to stay in my kids' lives. Fighting to stay linked to them. Fighting to be seen as relevant. Fighting, wrestling to help them understand what real life is--desperately wanting them to see what's right and what's wrong, to see who Jesus really is and what living for Him is really about. And desperately hoping that God will help me help them to not get lost in the swirling, wrestling sea of humanity that will take them under.

And I'm fighting and sweating and wrestling. I confess I understand the 80's better. But I'm still rocking and still contending for real life and trying to live it out for myself and in front of my family and friends.

And I'm loving it.

It's Been a Long Time Since I've Laughed Through a Movie...

2007-10-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

Last night I took Diane out on a little date night that I had planned. We ate a nice dinner at a little Italian place near the state fair, featuring a wood kiln oven. Lots of charm. From there we headed out to Edina. I had obtained passes for an advance showing for the movie "Lars and the Real Girl." I won't spoil the movie for you, but the basic plot is about a 20-something guy in a small town who is going through severe personal crisis. He can't deal with everyday life and relationships, and internet-orders a life-sized female doll--and delusionally believes she is his real girlfriend. This not-real girl is a major character in the movie--and we watched the whole town, including the church, try to figure out how to love this young guy through his delusional crisis. It produced incredible humor, but also very deep commentary and learning about human relationships and what it takes to really love real people.

(Families: It's rated PG-13 and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for families or children--some mature language/subject matter involved, but not much.)

But it's been a long time since I've laughed most of the way through a movie, a long time since I've been so affected by a movie, and a long time since I've been a part of an audience clapping at the end of a movie.

I think this one is destined to be a cult classic.

It comes out in theaters later this month--I'd love to have some interaction on relationships based on the movie.

Depending on your tastes--this is a great date movie!

Pete

The Spiritual Role of Art

2007-09-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

I ran across this quote yesterday, and it really captured my attention.

"The aim of art is to prepare a person for death, to plough and harrow his soul, rendering it capable of turning to good. … Art must transcend as well as observe; its role is to bring spiritual vision to bear on reality."

How often in our churches do we use art, whether video, drama, what have you--to be a means to an end, to make a statement, or even just to catch people's attention. I'm not an art expert by any means--it's been an area of the humanities that has always intimidated me--trying to understand the meaning in a blob of abstract paint on canvas. Know what I mean? But this statement forces me to go deeper.

I'm left very challenged to "bring spiritual vision to bear on reality" in my art calling--the spoken word.

Pete

I post here portions of the source article for your further thinking:

"The aim of art is to prepare a person for death," Tarkovsky, who died in 1986, wrote in Sculpting in Time, "to plough and harrow his soul, rendering it capable of turning to good. … Art must transcend as well as observe; its role is to bring spiritual vision to bear on reality."

Raised in the Russian Orthodox tradition, director Andrei Tarkovsky once told an interviewer, "I consider myself a person of faith, but I do not want to delve into the nuances and problems of my situation, for it is not so straightforward, not so simple, and not so unambiguous."

Tarkovsky's Sculpting in Time stands with Robert Bresson's Notes on the Cinematographer as one of the best books on filmmaking written by a director. It delves deeply into the spirituality of the filmmaker: "Art should be there to remind man that he is a spiritual being, that he is part of an infinitely larger spirit to which he will return in the end."

All of Tarkovsky's films deal with apocalyptic scenarios. He once said, "It would be wrong to consider that the Book of Revelation only contains within itself a concept of punishment, of retribution; it seems to me that what it contains above all is hope."

Excerpt from article by Eric David, CT Movies reviewer.

It's a START, anyhow...

2007-03-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

Let's talk. More later.